Wednesday, January 23, 2008

B is for Baking

Baking mosaic

I wasn't going to do another ABC-along post this week but you know how I feel about pictureless posts and right now I'm having to go with pictures I already have loaded into Flickr. I had this little baking set already set up at flickr and realized it went perfectly for the B part of the along.

I LOVE to bake. I'd bake every day if I could. The problem is I also love to eat what I bake and I've reached an age where I can't pretend I can eat anything I want anytime I want. I had many years when that was possible but they were long ago. I'm not a great baker and I don't make fancy things because no one in my family would eat them. Guess I'm not a Fearless Baker anymore than I'm a Fearless Knitter. I love to crank out cookies and other simple things, however, and my boys are grateful for them.

Baking relieves stress for me. Right now I'm feeling the stress. Last year was a difficult year. My father died in January and I spent the rest of the year dealing with the estate and interesting family relations. My oldest son had a number of injuries including two broken arms and a serious ankle injury. We also had major renovations done on our house which took much longer than anticipated (and cost more, too). I was glad to put 2007 behind me.

Then 2008 started with a visit to the Emergency Room for Oldest Boy. We found out the serious ankle injury requires serious surgery. Although Oldest Boy's braces came off (yeah!), we found out he needs significant cosmetic work done on his teeth (which costs the same amount as his braces) and today discovered he needs gum surgery. This seems like a lot for a 13 year old boy to handle. As his mother, I feel the pain and try to lessen it for him in any way I can. Still, he must be tired of being "broken" and needing to be fixed. Although it may not be polite to talk about money, I'll be honest and say we have no idea how we are going to pay for all this. Our insurance deductibles and copayments are ridiculously high and insurance will probably not cover the dental work at all (or only marginally).

Did I mention that the reason I needed to use an old photo is because my desk top computer decided to stop working? sigh It's in the shop now. I think it has something to do with our security suite which was just renewed and that just pisses me off. I purchased a lap top a couple of weeks ago so Oldest Boy could use it while he's laid up (and, well, to be completely truthful because I've wanted one for years and I felt entitled to buy myself something special with the inheritance money) so we're not computer-less but ... I'm tired. Really.

We have a long road ahead of us with ankle surgery, gum surgery, hours and hours of cosmetic. I need some strength. I'm quite good at putting my head down and shoveling. We'll get through this and it will make us stronger. I know we'll be fine. I have faith. But tonight I'm tired and I really want to make a big double batch of chocolate chip cookies with Trader Joe's chocolate chips and then eat until I'm sick. That's why I'm here typing. It keeps me from baking and eating.