Just drumming my fingers

Here's a sample of the fingerprint animals my boys have been making this week. This collection was done by my 7 year old son. Aren't they cute?

I'm up early today distracting myself by reading blogs and knitting. I nudged Mr. Baseball out of bed early too and suggested he go to work so he could come home early. Then the miraculous thing is that I got out of bed myself.

It's nerves keeping me awake. Good old fashioned anxiety. There are two things running through my mind this morning (well, there are more than two things in my mind but two are at the fore front). Both of them are completely out of my control and I don't really believe in worrying but they're making me nervous.

The first thing is that we're expecting another snow storm today. *deep, deep sigh* We sometimes get snow in April in New England but we don't usually get big snow followed by days and days of cold that prevent the snow from melting. We don't usually get snow at the end of the second week of April. I'm done with the snow for this year. It's starting to piss me off. Furthermore, it's really messing with our family schedule. With three boys playing baseball and involved in Scouts, we have a busy calendar at all times. When things start getting moved around and rescheduled the calendar gets impossible. It's not snowing here yet but according to the forecast it should start soon.

To understand the second thing causing me anxiety you must be a parent. Really. This week my 13 year old son tried out for the school baseball team. This is the first time he's ever "tried out" for a team. He's had to show off his skills before to make teams but it's always been a situation where every boy would make some team, it was just a matter of which. This time only some of the boys will make the team and the rest will not. Period. I so want him to make the team because I know he'd love it but also because I don't want him to suffer the disappointment.

What makes the situation even more difficult is that we homeschool. They've never had a homeschooled kid on the team before but the coach didn't bat an eyelash when my son showed up. The coach seems like a very fair minded kind of guy and everyone in town tells me what a great guy he is. He will hand out notes today to every boy who tried out. The note will tell them whether or not they made the team. My son's note will be left in the front office for me to pick up. I'll bring it home for him to read. Alone. Without any of his buddies around to congratulate him or soften the blow. I'll have to be the one to do that. Please let me be the one congratulating him. Please.