Friday, March 09, 2007

Funny Way to Start the Day

At the risk of being redundant, I feel I must post this YouTube video. If you haven't seen it yet please watch it. I just about died laughing.

In an attempt to be completely honest, I have to say that my grandmother is a crocheter. I learned to crochet years and years before I learned to knit. I could crochet these cute little worm bookmark things which I gave to all the girls in the 4th grade (and maybe a boy or two). I also made about a zillion granny squares from great yarn like Red Heart which I purchased at stores like Ames or Zayres with my own money. I have no idea whatever became of all those granny squares but I know that I never put more than 4 together.

But back to Nana. Nana crochets. And smokes. Yuck!! Getting a gift from Nana is it's own special kind of torture because you have to act excited about the object while trying not to get sick from the stench of smoke. First of all, Nana believes in themes so I get questions like, "What theme is your kitchen?" Hmmm, I know there are theme people out there but I'm not one of them and Nana finds this incredulous. Secondly, Nana believes everything in the kitchen should be covered by crocheted items. To this end, and I kid you not even a little, she has crocheted throw rugs, curtains, tie backs, seat covers, magnets, blender/toaster/teapot covers, and tops of towels which then button around your oven door. She's also big into bathroom crochet objects - big butterflies that go on the wall, covers for toilet paper rolls (with granny heads on top), covers for tissue boxes, bathmats, toilet tank covers, skirts for underneath the sink.

I don't have a picture of the worst gift my Nana ever gave me but I wish I did. When my oldest son was born, Nana gave me the scariest shower gift ever given to womankind. Picture a slinky - a real metal slinky - that has been crocheted around. Yup, crocheted around the entire length of the slinky. Then on the sides are two crocheted arms with plastic hands and on the bottom are two crocheted legs with plastic legs. Finally, on the top is a plastic clown face with a crocheted ruffle around its neck. This thing actually gave me nightmares and I had to hide it in the closet (until I hung it from the shower rod of my girlfriend's house to "surprise" her in the morning).

I love my Nana. I really do. I'm glad she has found a way to occupy her time. She has even made a few beautiful things like bedspreads and afghans. Please know I mean no disrespect to Nana. You'd just have to see her house to understand.